Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Energy Loan Sharkery

Namaste BTWGers:

Got the hang of this yet? This
fitness cult® is really fun and challenging. There is so much to be aware of and to do. I'm going crazy with the learning curve of how to do it which doesn't even cover doing it, or trying to do it.

In enlisting, I thought I would exercise & eat well. Never thought I'd blog, but it totally rocks. I fervently wish everyone would blog & update often. I have checked the blog roll 50 times today to see who is doing what. It's like reading US Weekly!

Writing down the calories of food is tough for me. I can write down what stuff I ate, but still not adept at checking/guessing. I have no idea how many calories I've eaten these past 2 days but with cabbage soup and less sugar, the calories are definitely less than they were at peak xmas cookie eating season.

For the most part, I don't have manifest many of the popular or generic emotional eating issues. I would never stand in front of the refrigerator with a fork and systematically empty its contents or eat a gallon of Ben & Jerry's while watching sappy movies. I'm not a secret eater or a purger although I was anorexic back in the (high school/college) day. What I do is schedule too many things in a day and/or stay up way too late and eat/drink on the go and with an eye to getting some energy to power through. In college, I always pulled all nighters with a six pack of Tab & a bag of Doritos.

I love the term Energy Loan sharks.* I was unfamiliar with it. (I am familiar with Energy Vampires, who isn't?--but that's another post.) As someone who has subsisted for too long on sugar & caffeine, EL certainly describes my eating.

Monday morning I was busy with my life stuff & was facing work deadlines so I raced about refueling at Starbucks with my Awake tea into which I mindlessly poured multiple Slendas. It actually took me a while to realize I wasn't doing that ritual any differently.

I have quit drinking alcohol cold turkey & quit drinking Diet Coke cold turkey, but caffeinated black tea & Splenda, not so much. There is probably a screwed up psychological reason for this, (that's another post & more therapy), but there is the reason that my tea concoction & my gummy bears, Dots, chocolate this & thats, scones, cookies, etc. do give me an oomph when I need it. I haven't acknowledged these things are probably responsible for my jet lag later. I get really freaked out when they don't have my flavor & almost every barista in the city knows to make my tea as soon as I walk through the door.

Anyway, I have realized I need help, but haven't yet surrendered to a higher power. At home, I have been mixing it up a bit by also drinking oolong & chamomile with stevia or raw sugar, which is something. Baby steps.

Sugarwise, I have eaten sweet things mindlessly & mindfully, but less. I still feel the need to get the charge, the boost, the high to get through the hour, the project the day. I know many people have gone cold turkey on various things (snaps), but I haven't. I have done less and I have done well, in 2 days, with fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.

Isn't it fascinating that the project not only challenges us physically, but mentally as well? We may have to confront a lot of stuff. Apparently, I'm meant to do battle with Energy Loansharks.


On the down low, I discussed the cult with my therapist.
He told me to tweak. He said it was ok for me to alter the program so that I could do it. That it might be better than getting too anxious and not being able to do it at all. For now, still drinking Awake tea with Splenda at Starbucks was not the worst thing, especially if I was aware of what I was doing & why (he's big on that) and if I was also incorporating healthy green & herbal teas into the mix. Hope it's ok with Our Leader.

*Chris' term for food eaten to spike your energy but which ultimately drains you.


T. said...

Thank God I'm not the only one. I had a packet of Splenda in my regular tea today and nearly had to go to confession. And I'm not Catholic.

Rad said...

Hi, Ellen,

Just a note to say I "dropped by." I'm new at this blogging thing and will engage more later. Right now I need to get to the gym!!!


P.S. I was a Splenda Addict until I switched to Stevia. At first I didnt' think much of it. (One drop is DEFINATELY NOT equal to a teaspoon of sugar!) But once I started using it, I've totally given up Splenda. Don't know it it will float your boat, but it worked for me. R

Ginger said...

Try Truvia instead of Splenda. It really is good.

Rob Johansen said...

My wife will attest that I am the king of Splenda abuse! It is the biggest thing I have held onto that is a "baddie" followed by too much coffee (with Splenda!).

I am pretty good with everything else, so I guess that Splenda and Coffee is my "tweak".

Ellen, your blog ROCKS!!!!

Sherri said...

Ellen, week 2 begins, girl !!! You are gonna rock it! Have a GREAT week and see you Saturday!