Sunday, February 1, 2009

The Dog Ate My Homework (or the Groundhog did)

Happy Groundhog Day BTWGers!

One of my favorite parts of the Project® is blogging. I love reading what everyone is doing or not doing. I love the connectivity & the US Weeklyness of it all. However, my least favorite part is the paperwork. I hate it. Other than writing notes on little scraps of paper,I can't force myself to do it. My Excel is just not very excellent.

This paperwork thing is something I am having issues with in many aspects of my life. I told myself that I couldn't blog until I had all the paperwork done, but then the hours became days, the days became weeks, and then I said WTF. At bible study on Saturday I was so impressed with how diligent every one is. If I didn't know I had a cohort in crime (thanks for having my back) who is just as much of a scrivener slacker as I am, I would have flung myself out the Au Bon Pain window.

Anyway, I am mindful of it and am trying to figure out why I can't force myself to do it. I'm even dreaming about it. I am exercising--jumping rope, walking (not running), toning with weights & bands. I am actually sitting on the mat to mediate. I even scheduled a guest meditator for my office yoga class. I've lost weight. I'm eating better than I have in years, albeit I still eat in restaurants & eat dinner after 7. I'm cooking more than I have in years which was one of my goals for joining the cult.

Although I don't follow all the rules, if I could memorialize what I have done, it wouldn't be bad. Why can't I fill out the reports?

Aha. That is the Groundhogness of it. I keep repeating certain patterns over & over. This Project® has been an eye opener for me in just two weeks to actually notice what I do. As my overarching goal has been some new, healthier habits, I have been doing things with an eye towards sustainability. So, I have developed some habits that I could sustain, I still can't bust loose from others.

If someone put a gun to my head, I could probably eschew restaurants for 12 weeks, but then, I'd put a gun to my head. I'd be a different person. I want to be a different paperwork person, but not necessarily a different socializer. The restaurant scene & the socializing are actually more important than the food (although I am a food snob). It's not that difficult for me to make good food choices and eat appropriate portions, although I can't really know the calorie count. I'm happy about changes I've made with food. Less loan sharkery; more nutrition in the bank.

I'm frustrated that I can't be a better Project® administration. I'm still in Groundhog Day. I'll keep working on it. Maybe by the end of the Project®, I'll wake up one morning and I won't hear "I've Got You Babe" blasting me.


The Groundhog Day Buddhism Sutra:

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